Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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