I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
