and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
