Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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