Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
