I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
