1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
either way he was missing a nipple.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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