Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
