Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he thought i was a dude.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
