just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
