Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
