There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
