i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
