yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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