No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
