i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
