I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We are two peas in an std pod
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
