turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
