we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
