My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Randomize