New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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