I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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