I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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