The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
