SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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