i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
