Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
