wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
