Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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