No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
