I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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