census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize