i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
