she was so not down for the gang bang
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize