Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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