good thing vaginas are great cup holders
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she peed on how many people?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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