6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
