So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
