Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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