I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
