So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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