who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
