Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
