Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
