if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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