So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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