dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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