Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
