I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
