Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Can you repeat that, but with context?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
