please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
