When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
