My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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