My hand turned me down
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
