Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
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You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
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She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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