You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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