i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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