i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
