did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Your cock deserves a montage
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
