were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
tell me about the eggs
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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