one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
