after a month anything with tits is on the radar
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
