Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
