i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Fuck me I smell like cheese
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
