no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize